I came across this photo this afternoon and it stopped me in my tracks. It was in my most used photo folder on my desktop but I had passed it by so many times lately. Today I stopped and looked. He didn’t look like the same kid. So much so that I spent 30 minutes looking for a picture to prove that our representative in Russia had sent us a picture of the right child.

Of course, I knew it was him…his number was 4 and he has the same gnawed fingernails and scar on his eyebrow. But, he just seemed so peaceful, so content, so NOT my AJ.

But as I started looking through pictures that is all I found…peace. In every photo of him I see a happy child. I see Sasha, the orphan who is not really an orphan I see my son. He is content, delightful, witty, goofy, and fun.

And they say a picture tells a thousand words.

Related Posts

• Adoption: 25 Things to do while you wait
• Five Reasons to Re-Adopt in the U.S.
• The Best Baby Slings for Adoption
• Question: Abuse
• Russian Permit for Adoption Activity

Packing Essentials for Internatinal Trips

For the Babes or older children (this list is dependent on age but is geared for 0-3):

Child Clothing: Outfits in several sizes…don’t count on measurements being correct. In Russia measurements were not correct. At this point I don’t know if measurements are correct or not because I was there when they took them and they were, obviously, correct. Ere on the larger side if you don’t want to take several sizes and hit the garage sales!

On the first trip take clothing that is about the same size and leave several other items for the foster mom (or in future case, the orphanage).  Additionally, take items such as toys and small gifts for them as well.

I highly suggest taking a sling for the little ones (Try http://BabyLoveSlings.com or for the older ones, try a The BabyWearer to get an idea on which one might work best. A stroller is also handy for moving about but the slings/hammocks are essential for airport use when a stroller can be checked and stowed away. We opted to use a stroller bag and check ours when we came home from Russia and it allowed us some freedom in the airport. AJ was in the Hip Hammock and Eric carried the backpack and carry-on.

Baby Food: Bibs, Playtex bottles and disposable liners, nipples that match the age/developmental age of your child, pacifiers, something to chew on if needed, (in Guatemala you should purchase the formula in country),

Toddler Food: rice cereal, baby food, Cherrios, graham crackers, teddy grahams, oatmeal, baby gold fish, gerber fruit snacks, etc.), 2 disposable sippy cups and disposable bowls, disposable spoons and forks, disposable bibs, formula dispenser and previously stated bottles, as many are still on formula and is used as a supplement.

Misc.: Diaper bags with scented powder (this is essential in a hotel room if the child has bacterial infections), disposable changing pads for travel, formula dispenser, snack caddy, travel toys, pictures of family and foster mom, baby shampoo (chose the most gentle and non-toxic to avoid allergic reactions), alcohol swabs and band-aides, neosporin, toothbrush and toothpaste, bottle brush,  Dawn dish pads (these are disposable and travel wipes that are activated with water), Huggies washclothes, hairbrush, nailclippers, Benedryl for the plane (controversial but in my opinion, a must), A blanket to leave with the foster mom (trip one), disposable cameras to leave with the foster mom (trip one),

Clothing: Booties or socks, Hat for the sun or infant hat to keep the warmth in (depends on the age of your child), Warm blanket and receiving blankets for swaddling, clothing (onesies, sleepers, warm clothing, burp cloths, shirts, pants, etc. Bring more than you anticipate them wearing and put several outfits in Ziploc bags for the plane ride home (shirt, pants, socks, diaper, wipes, and disposable changing pad). Place these in your carry- on for easy access. When you need to run for a diaper change all you will need to do is grab the Ziploc, kiddo, and go. This was super handy for us because AJ actually soiled several outfits while on our trip home from Russia. We had three Ziplocs handy and he went through all three.

For Mom and Dad:

Sandles, tennis shoes, 2 pairs of pants: khakis and yoga pants, one pair of jeans (although it is not customary to wear them. I wore khaki cords), pajamas, t-shirts, long sleeved shirts, sweater, jacket, undies, and socks. It is customary to dress nicely and present yourself well. Wear makeup, do your hair nicely, and basically present yourself well. Foster mothers want to see the children going to good homes and people who take care of themselves will most likely take care of their children. (However, don’t go down there being flashy because that is not welcomed either.)

Misc: Antibiotics, Tylenol, prescription meds, entertainment, books, toys, etc.

Related Posts

• A Thousand Words
• Adoption: 25 Things to do while you wait
• Five Reasons to Re-Adopt in the U.S.
• Thoughts on Viral Racism and Parenting the Interracially Adopted Child
• Radiating

Upon returning home the wait begins to return to bring your child home. But what are you supposed to do for 6 months? 8 months? 10 months? Most parents who are expecting know that they are going to a hospital on said day, giving birth to an infant, and bringing the infant home several days later. Adoptive parents, however, can assume nothing. Sure, we may have a referral for a child of a particular gender from a specific country but the time frame for bringing that child home is completely unknown. And what is more difficult is that even if we know the age of the child we are bringing home their size and their development may not match their age.

Waiting can be VERY difficult for some parents, especially those who are adopting for the first time. I know that the wait to bring home our first son seemed much more difficult than this one because I did not have a little one to keep my mind active. I had 90 middle school kids pestering me for 15 hours a day but it certainly was not the same.

There are plenty of things to keep adoptive couples busy during the wait time, no matter how short or lengthy it may get.

Prepare the Home

1. Prepare the home by baby-proofing. Include items like the Outlet Cover, Gates, Drawer and Cabinet Locks, Door Knob Covers (a MUST HAVE on almost EVERY Door), TV Guards for the Adventurous Toddler, and Cord Wind-ups for Blinds.

Look at everything from a toddler/baby point of view. Get down on your hands and knees and try to open every door, every cabinet, every window, every toilet. If you can see chemicals, dangerous items, or can open anything that you would not want your toddler getting into…baby-proof it (or just have a friend’s toddler come test it) Remember that if you are adopting a child from an international country they will not be speaking your language and will not understand you quickly enough to stop doing something dangerous. Baby-proofing will be imperative to both your sanity and your babies health.

2. Additionally, remove any and all clutter/knick-knacks that your child can get into and break. Many children will investigate everything (very impulsively) and research has shown that low stimulation, and basic surroundings are best at first. Remember that many of these children are coming from either institutions or foster homes that have bare surroundings.

Register for a Shower

3. A shower can be one of the most exciting things that a couple can have when expecting a child. However, it can also be difficult when adopting, as many people feel that it should happen AFTER the child comes home. In my opinion, this can be very difficult because once the child comes home the parent’s focus is on the child and getting the child to adapt to his.her surroundings. Many parents “hibernate” for attachment reasons, thus making a shower even more difficult after returning home.

Nonetheless, parents can register at Pottery Barn Kids, Target, Babies R Us, and even places like The Land of Nod .

Medical and Childcare

4. Add your future child to your health insurance policy

5. Adjust your life insurance policy or your income tax withholding,

6. If necessary, choose a pediatrician, making sure to interview several,

7. Find out how to enroll your child in his or her new school or daycare,

8. Find several local sitters to provide you some much needed respite when you need to run to the store or have a doctor’s appointment.

9. Take a CPR class (if not already required by your homestudy)

10. Don’t forget to get your immunizations if you need them.

Prepare your Adoption Announcements

11. This may sound a little tedious and a tad funny, but do the research now so that you know exactly what cards you are ordering (or making) and have it ready to go. You WILL be exhausted when you return home and people will probably expect an announcement. You usually want to see a baby announcement within the first month, right? Check out Hip, Modern Birth Announcements & Other Baby Stationery! (they do have adoption announcements), Classy Announcements, Photo Innovations, Stork Avenue, and my absolute favorite…2peas1pod.

2peas1pod even lets you pre-order and gives you a 10% discount…they send you the envelopes to pre-address while you are waiting.

Clean (you will never get it done again!)

12. Clean out old closets, the garage, cabinets, the refrigerator, and even have the carpets and furniture cleaned if you want (we didn’t have the furniture done but we were sure glad the carpets were done because AJ was all over it!)

13. Donate what you have not used, pitch what can’t be donated, or host a garage sale to raise money for the adoption. You won’t believe how much you will accumulate in the next few years.

Cook

14. Prepare and freeze some non-perishable dinners (or head to places like Super Suppers and have them help you may some fabulous dinners for when you come home.

Read

15. Don’t keep your head in the dark. Read up on the potential challenges you may face with attachment, medical issues, sensory integration, developmental delays, etc. And, read up on the many joys of adoption as well. I will post a list of recommended reading later this week.

Decorate the Baby Room

16. By the time you read this you probably know the gender of your child…so go ahead…decorate that special room. Take your time and make it absolutely perfect. But, remember my tip from Dr. Federici and keep it simple.

History

17. Track down and purchase copies of local and national newspapers and magazines published the day and week of your child’s birthday.

18. Start a scrapbook, otherwise known as a Lifebook, for your child. Track down information on his/her birth place, orphanage or place of foster care, etc.

Shop
19. One of the best things I did when waiting for AJ (and I have already started doing this for the Bebe) is shopping! I hit ONLY the best of the best sales and shop ONLY in sizes I think he may be in when he comes home. ie: I just recently purchased about 10 winter items from Gymboree for under $50. And, I got an entire outfit (pants, shirt, and sweater) for $5 at Target.

20. Shop garage sales if you wait during the summer and stock up on travel clothing. We actually purchased several outfits for our Russia trip and had no problem throwing away soiled clothes that we purchased for $.25.

Take Time

21. Take time for yourselves. As much as you can…take a vacation to somewhere you have never been and enjoy it.

22. Eat out if you can afford it, don’t just order in.

23. Spend time with friends and make sure they know you don’t want to lose touch with them.

24. Get TIVO…it will save your life.

25. RELAX.

26. And, for my Guatemala Trip friends here is a link on how to knit a full body suit while you are waiting.

What tips do you have if you are waiting (or have waited)?

Related Posts

• New Research Encourages Going Beyond Culture Camp
• Across the Generations
• Love and Adoption
• Five Reasons to Re-Adopt in the U.S.
• What Matters Most

Recreate the fabulous and spiritual carpets created for Holy Week Processions at Crayola.

Related Posts

• A Thousand Words
• The Packing List: Adoption Trip
• Adoption: 25 Things to do while you wait
• How To: Ukranian and Russian Faberge Eggs
• How To: A Russian Easter Egg

“The food of the soul of the earth.”

We were in the epicenter of Mayan civilization, and it felt like that. A sense of awe is inevitable in Guatemala. So is hunger. My traveling partner, the venerable El Don of Estylo Magazine (and sometime contributor to Women & Wine), and I were there to tour the Tikal ruins, Guatemala City, and Antigua … and to eat, eat, eat.

Our able and affable host was Carlos Santos, Delta Airlines regional manager of Latin America, the Caribbean, and U.S. Hispanic. Delta had recently opened a direct flight to Guatemala City from Los Angeles and was celebrating with a brief press tour, on which I was fortunate enough to be invited.

Our trip to “la alma de la tierra,” began as we touched down at the Guatemala City airport and caught a cab to our hotel, the wonderful Westin El Camino Real. After a (very) brief rest, we pried our eyes open and met Carlos downstairs. We were greeted effusively by our guide, Tony, of Clark Tours—our walking, breathing, Guatemalan Encyclopedia Britannica.

Our bus rumbled past earthquake-damaged streets that were beautiful in a unique way—adorned with old, weathered signs and Spanish Colonial architecture. A herd of goats, bleating and bobbing their heads passed by, driven along the cobbles by a boy with a stick. “He is selling fresh milk on the streets,” said Tony. “If anyone wants milk, he will stop the goats and squeeze some for them.” We were amazed that this could happen right in front of Payless Shoes, one of the Guatemalans’ favorite American chain stores (another being Hooters). I leaned out of the windows of the tour bus, snapping photos happily, until my stomach began to distract me, forcing me to take shots of McDonald’s and roadside vendors selling handmade tortillas, puposas, and hotdogs. Interestingly enough, Guatemalans claim to sell the very best hotdogs on earth—perfectly grilled sausage tubes of high-end beef (no evil byproducts for them) nestled in a grilled bun, with grilled onions, relish, and piles of guacamole.

Fortunately, it was indeed time for lunch, and we bustled off to Kakao to meet the tourism board and have some authentic Guatemalan cuisine. The restaurant was spectacular, with a high thatched roof, broad-beamed wooden floor, wait staff wearing colored uniforms made from the country’s famed weaving, and a wall of carved angels with serene eyes, holding drippy candles. Another wall had a diorama of marimbas—the country’s official musical instrument. Everything formed a wonderful collage of rich colors and textures. The food was delicious: potato tamales stuffed with shredded chicken and green chili, draped with tomato purée; pork tenderloin marinated in Adobo sauce; and Suban-Ick, a ceremonial dish of Kakchiquel royalty from San Martin Jilotepeque. Don’t ask me what all that means, because I have no idea—I only ordered it because if something’s come down from royalty, it has to be very, very good.

The steaming bowl contained a mixed grill of meats: chicken breast, pork loin, and smoked ribs, all swimming harmoniously in a broth of tomato and sweet peppers. It was divine. All dishes were served with guacamole, and what was unquestionably the most incredible black bean paste I have ever had. All over Guatemala, these little dabs of black bean paste left me spinning in my seat. I harangued plenty of chefs and servers, but they would just shrug and look puzzled. “No, you don’t understand,” I would say wildly. “This is amazing and I MUST know what’s in it!” No answers, just demure headshakes and a shyly muttered, “Frijoles …” Some things are destined to remain a mystery.

El Don, Carlos, and I enjoyed our lunch immensely, and I was brought into the kitchen to congratulate the chef personally. He stopped his chopping and gave me a beaming hug. The cheerful kitchen was full of pots of boiling peppers, happy staff, and lots of sunlight.

The next day was very special for us. We were given a tour of the center of the Mayan civilization—the Tikal ruins. Tikal was the largest capitol of the Mayan empire, home to between 50,000 and 100,000 citizens at its peak (approximately 500 A.D.). In 1970, it was declared a National Monument, the first National Park in Central America.

Only about 20 percent of Tikal’s estimated 3,000 ruins have been uncovered and restored—the other 80 percent remain buried in enormous mounds of earth that conceal pieces of the Mayan puzzle, and give the jungle a mysterious air. We were surrounded by ancient trees with twisted, sculptural roots and cracked bark, vines draping dramatically from tree limb to tree limb, sunbursts of flowers, and small bands of toucans screaming obscenities at us tourists. It was like being in God’s art museum.

Our lunch that day included carne asada (a superbly broiled piece of tender beef), handmade tortillas, guacamole, rice, and the secret black bean paste that makes me reel with joy. A woman in native Guatemalan dress made tortillas next to us, with deft fingers and a bright smile. There was a group of coatimundis scurrying around beneath her, hopeful for a handout. We ate our lunch in leisure before we hopped back on the bus and to the plane waiting to whisk us back to Guatemala City.

Dinner that night was out on the town, at a fantastic find. Zumo is a wine bar and restaurant, with a young, eager Guatemalan chef named Rodrigo Alvarado at the helm. Rodrigo worked for the Mandarin Hotel in New York before returning to his homeland and opening his own place. His restaurant is gorgeous inside, with a cozy lounge room, an Asian-inspired interior, and a festive patio (where we immediately settled ourselves). We were instantly served with water and greetings.

Chef Alvarado came out to escort us to the wine cellar himself (no wine lists here) and he was happy to tell us his favorites. Guatemala is not a wine country (they love their Zacapa rum), and much of their wine is imported from Chile, as well as other countries. We chose a Chilean wine from Montes, one of the chef’s favorites. I had had it before, and knew it would be delicious. Every dish we chose from the menu was inspired. The chicken dish I had was a prizewinner, literally: chicken stuffed with blue cheese and apple, breaded with walnuts, and served with crispy sweet potato threads (click here for the recipe!). El Don, Carlos, and I shared three outstanding desserts, the winner being a soft cantaloupe mousse. It melted away on my tongue so quickly I nearly forgot it was ever there. It was positively chimerical.

The dinner was so successful that we swore on our lives we would force everyone we knew to go to Guatemala, just for the cuisine alone. We babbled our goodnights and made our way back to the hotel in a torrential downpour; we were so sated, we didn’t even care. It was time to get some shut-eye before returning home the following morning, our journey having been crowned with a delicious meal.

Photo of Suban-Ick, the ceremonial dish of Kakchiquel royalty from San Martin Jilotepeque, courtesy of Patricia Kositzky

This was originally published at Divine Caroline.

Related Posts

• A Thousand Words
• The Packing List: Adoption Trip
• Adoption: 25 Things to do while you wait
• How To: Guatemalan Street Carpets
• Kids and Culture: What’s Most Important?

Esquipulas was the site of the original Peace Agreement for Central America and was founded by the Spaniards between 1560 and 1570. The Black Christ can be dated back to March 9, 1595 when the Portuguese sculptor, Quirio Catano gave it to the mayor of the city.

Pope John Paul II proclaimed the cathedral at Esquipulas “the spiritual center of Central America”.

Information from Wikipedia

Related Posts

• A Thousand Words
• The Packing List: Adoption Trip
• Adoption: 25 Things to do while you wait
• How To: Guatemalan Street Carpets
• Guatemalan Food: La Comida de la Alma de la Tierra

Similar to other Latin American countries, Guatemalans celebrate Dia de los Tres Reyes (Day of the Three Kings). It is widely believed that this is the day when the three wise men visited baby Jesus and delivered their gifts. January 6^th is also known as the Epiphany.

Our Nacimiento (nativity) sits in a place of honor so that is highly visible. On the eve of Dia de los Tres Reyes, we have prayers around the crèche. All of the kids participate, so the somberness gives way to giggles and a celebratory feeling. Because we have had a substantial Christmas, the kids do not put their shoes out for gifts, as is the traditional custom. Instead, they give to other children.

On Dia de los Tres Reyes, we have our traditional Guatemalan Merienda de Reyes, the meal of the three kings. It concludes with the all-important hot chocolate and Rosca de Reyes, the colorful red and green sugar and candied fruit decorated oval cake with the hidden baby Jesus (symbolizing him being hidden from King Herrod’s men). My kids eat more than the traditionally allotted single piece of the yummy cake in an attempt to get the baby Jesus; for some reason we had two last year. Whoever finds the baby Jesus is expected to host the Candelaria (Candlemas) several weeks later.

Rosca de Reyes recipe Bake for 40-45 minutes at 350°

3 1/2 cups flour
1 packet yeast
3/4 cups of sugar
7 eggs
125 grams butter
1/4 cup lukewarm milk
Dash of salt
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp aniseed
100 grams raisins
1 tsp vanilla
50 grams candied figs
50 grams candied orange
50 grams candied lemon
50 grams candied cherries
50 grams candied citron
1 beaten egg
sugar (for more fun use colored sugars)
butter
flour

Dissolve the yeast in five tablespoons lukewarm milk.  Mix the flour, yeast, sugar, eggs, melted butter, milk, salt, cinnamon, aniseed, raisins, and vanilla.  Knead into a ball; grease it with some butter and place near a warm stove until the dough doubles in size. (About 2 1/2 hours)  Meanwhile cut into strips the candied fruit.

Knead, banging it down on the floured tabletop, to make it soft and pliable.  Form the dough into a ring or rosca. Insert the baby figurine.  Place the rosca on a greased backing tray.  Decorate it with the strips of candied fruit. Leave the rosca once more to fluff up again. Brush the rosca with the beaten egg and sprinkle over granulated sugar.

Recipe from this site.

Judy M. Miller lives in the Midwest with her husband and four children. Her essays and articles appear in parenting and adoption magazines. “Souls Speak,” is featured in A Cup of Comfort for Adoptive Families (Adams Media). “I Can’t Be Loved” is included in the recently published Pieces of Me: Who Do I Want to Be? (EMK Press). She blogs at The International Mom’s Blog.

Related Posts

• A Thousand Words
• The Packing List: Adoption Trip
• Adoption: 25 Things to do while you wait
• How To: Guatemalan Street Carpets
• Guatemalan Food: La Comida de la Alma de la Tierra

Fried Plantains are a traditional holiday treat in Guatemala. Although they are native to Africa, plantains have become very common in Southern American.

There are many ways to prepare them (but never in my house, as AJ is allergic to bananas…and probably plantains).

To make fried plantains;

Peel plantains and slice them diagonally, lengthwise so that they are 1/2 thick.

Heat oil in a frying pan or large fryer. If you have a large fryer no need to slice.

Fry.

Easy, eh?

Related Posts

• A Thousand Words
• The Packing List: Adoption Trip
• Adoption: 25 Things to do while you wait
• How To: Guatemalan Street Carpets
• Guatemalan Food: La Comida de la Alma de la Tierra

Worry Dolls originated with the Ancient Maya. It is believed that they were created from scraps left over from weaving and from pieces of wood. The bags were considered to have magical properties. They held the tiny hand-made dolls instead fetishes.

Legend says that children (and adults too!) should share their problems with the colorfully decorated worry dolls before going to bed. The dolls should be placed beneath the child’s pillow. The dolls will remove those worries while the children sleep.

Worry Dolls have been used by children who are anxious or have been hospitalized or traumatized.

To Make Worry dolls:

Time needed 1 hour, parent supervision recommended for cutting and detail work

Craft knife or Scissors

Fine sand paper

Straight Clothes pins or Craft sticks

Toothpicks

Fabric scraps of your choice

Yarn s of your choice (for hair)

Floss, decorative wire and beads

Markers for the face

Wire or pipe cleaners

Glue

1)      Cut the ends of the toothpicks off and file smooth with sand paper.

2)      Position below “head” and glue in place. Let dry.

3)      Make the hair piece. Glue together on to the top of the clothespin or craft stick. Let dry.

4)      Fashion clothing out of fabric, cutting and gluing as you choose. Extra ornamentation can be added with  decorative floss and beads. Let dry.

5)      If desired, design and add wire jewelry.

6)      Draw faces on doll, the happier the better.

Judy M. Miller lives in the Midwest with her husband and four children. Her essays and articles appear in parenting and adoption magazines. “Souls Speak,” is featured in A Cup of Comfort for Adoptive Families (Adams Media). “I Can’t Be Loved” is included in the upcoming Pieces of Me: Who Do I Want to Be? (EMK Press). “The Chest” will be in the upcoming Chicken Soup for the Soul: Thanks Mom. She blogs at The International Mom’s Blog.

Related Posts

• Thoughts on Viral Racism and Parenting the Interracially Adopted Child
• A Thousand Words
• The Packing List: Adoption Trip
• Book Review: Along Came You
• Adoption: 25 Things to do while you wait

No matter what kind of visa your child enters the U.S. on (an IR-3 or an IR-4) he/she will benefit if you re-adopt them in your home state. Since the Child Citizenship Act of 2000 an IR-3 visa means that a child is automatically a U.S. citizen upon entrance to the country (so make sure you cheer as soon as those plane wheels touch ground!).

There are five great reasons to re-adopt your child.

1. A Legal and Binding Birth Certificate

Life a marriage certificate, your child will often need a copy of their birth certificate. They will need it for their driver’s license, their marriage license, bank accounts, etc. It will make the process much easier to have a birth certificate from a state department.

Anyone have difficulty getting a marriage license from an island wedding?

2. A Legal Name Change

For children born in countries like Guatemala a legal name change most likely needs to be completed. This is the time to do so.

3. Not all States Recognize a Foreign Adoption Decree (and even I did not know this).

There are 18 states, DC, and four U.S. Territories that have no statutory provisions for international adoptions. So, they do not have to recognize an international decree.

• Alabama
• Arizona
• Kentucky
• Louisiana
• Michigan
• Mississippi
• Nebraska
• Nevada
• New Jersey
• New York
• Rhode Island
• South Dakota
• Utah
• Virginia
• West Virginia
• Wyoming
• American Samoa
• Guam
• Puerto Rico
• U.S. Virgin Islands

4. What if you move to one of those states?

We were lucky to move out of one of those states but we made sure that our will prefaced our son as our adopted son, Alexander, to ensure that he would be seen as a legal heir.

5. Nostalgia

In my heart, the Russian and Guatemalan birth certificates for my boys are precious. I certainly don’t want them stained because someone as Little League spilled coffee on them.

Related Posts

• Adoption: 25 Things to do while you wait
• The Best Baby Slings for Adoption
• Question: Abuse
• A Thousand Words
• Grandfather Frost