Grown in My Heart
Feature, Russia — By Marcie on September 26, 2009 at 8:00 am
Republished by Blog Post Promoter
“Sometimes its not the child we carry that belongs to us but the child we have in our hearts.”
One of the most difficult things to deal with regarding infertility is the fact that we can not bear/have our own children. I still deal with this on a regular basis and I will be the first to admit it. I wrote a post not long ago about this and it garnered a lot of attention from both adoptive mothers and women dealing with infertility.
It took me a long time to get over the initial grief of not being able to have a child of my “own” and then even more time to come to terms with not being able to look a child in the eyes and know he came from me.
But, as I parent my first son every day I learn that more often than not he is looking back at me with the same eyes with which I look at him. It is not the color of his eyes that is important but the love that shines in them. It is not the shape of his eyes but the humor his father has taught him. It is the knowledge that he gleans from us, his parents, each day.
And what is most important is that this child, no matter who he is blood related to, has “come” from me. Yes, he will always be tied to his birth family because they gave him life and they gave him his start.
But what is so wonderful is that I am allowed to parent him everyday. I am allowed to carry him in my heart every single moment. And I wonder, sometimes, if she carries him in her heart too.
Tweet This
Digg This
Save to delicious
Stumble it
7 Comments
Ah, so true, so sweet….happy Mother’s Day as a mom of TWO!!!–Michelle Mc (can’t seem to logout…)
[Translate]
She does.
[Translate]
Thanks Mara.
[Translate]
Happy Mother’s Day! Our boys couldn’t ask for a better Mom.
Love,
Pickel
[Translate]
SO very true and well written, Marcie! You such a great mother…AJ and Gus are two very lucky boys. :)
[Translate]
Marcie – You linked this on today’s GIMH post so I found myself here unexpectedly. You write: “It took me a long time to get over the initial grief of not being able to have a child of my “own” and then even more time to come to terms with not being able to look a child in the eyes and know he came from me.” One day, someday, your son will realize this same grief, knowing that he will never look at the eyes of those who carry his blood (until he becomes a father). And his response will very much a reflection of how you have handled this same grief. Every feeling of being an adoptive parent will be reflected in a likewise feeling of being an adopted child. It is like facing two mirrors towards each other. It is infinite. Hmmm, perhaps another blog post for the future… :)
[Translate]
Raina, this is one of my very favorite posts. Thanks for commenting on it. It will always be something that I think about, always.
[Translate]