Comments on: Redemptive Response to Tragedy http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy An Adoption Network Sat, 31 Jul 2010 00:44:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Circe http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy#comment-19232 Circe Mon, 10 May 2010 16:32:49 +0000 http://www.growninmyheart.com/?p=6043#comment-19232 Thank you for articulating emotions that are sometimes too complex for words. We have had our Chinese daughter for four years. The biggest surprise that faced me was that it doesn't get easier. It only gets more complicated to make sense, with my daughter, of why she is here and what it means to be Chinese, to feel like her caucasian sisters, but not look like them, to wonder "when will I be in your tummy, Mom?" It's hard, but I love the journey. Although we were naive going into it, we are growing with the work. Thank you for articulating emotions that are sometimes too complex for words. We have had our Chinese daughter for four years. The biggest surprise that faced me was that it doesn’t get easier. It only gets more complicated to make sense, with my daughter, of why she is here and what it means to be Chinese, to feel like her caucasian sisters, but not look like them, to wonder “when will I be in your tummy, Mom?” It’s hard, but I love the journey. Although we were naive going into it, we are growing with the work.

]]> By: Grown In My Heart » Blog Archive » Feature writer: Carrie http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy#comment-17782 Grown In My Heart » Blog Archive » Feature writer: Carrie Tue, 02 Feb 2010 15:13:30 +0000 http://www.growninmyheart.com/?p=6043#comment-17782 [...] Carrie:  Adoptive Parents – Know that a child’s grief is real.  I spend a lot of time with orphans pre-adoption, and have only begun to comprehend the tragedy they’ve experienced.  They are so broken, even if they seem (and are) strong and resilient.  When they come to you, let them grieve.  Their sadness isn’t a reflection on you or their desire for you to be their parent… it’s coming from a deep loss that no one should ever experience.  Don’t try to cover it up or mask it or pretend it isn’t there.  Teach them how to grieve.  Grieve with them.  Through that, healing and wholeness will come.  I wrote about this once at Grown in My Heart – Redemptive Response to Tragedy: http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy [...] [...] Carrie:  Adoptive Parents – Know that a child’s grief is real.  I spend a lot of time with orphans pre-adoption, and have only begun to comprehend the tragedy they’ve experienced.  They are so broken, even if they seem (and are) strong and resilient.  When they come to you, let them grieve.  Their sadness isn’t a reflection on you or their desire for you to be their parent… it’s coming from a deep loss that no one should ever experience.  Don’t try to cover it up or mask it or pretend it isn’t there.  Teach them how to grieve.  Grieve with them.  Through that, healing and wholeness will come.  I wrote about this once at Grown in My Heart – Redemptive Response to Tragedy: http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy [...]

]]> By: Hartley Steiner http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy#comment-5321 Hartley Steiner Fri, 11 Sep 2009 21:00:54 +0000 http://www.growninmyheart.com/?p=6043#comment-5321 As an adoptive mom it brought tears to my eyes to think of a child who longs for a family but can't have one. After being a foster parent for 7 years and adopting my oldest through the state I am all too aware of the "orphans" in our own country. There is a sense of grief in my son every time we talk about his birth parents or adoption. And a truth that cannot yet be spoken about how he came to be my son. Thank you for sharing, Hartley hartleysboys.blogspot.com As an adoptive mom it brought tears to my eyes to think of a child who longs for a family but can’t have one. After being a foster parent for 7 years and adopting my oldest through the state I am all too aware of the “orphans” in our own country. There is a sense of grief in my son every time we talk about his birth parents or adoption. And a truth that cannot yet be spoken about how he came to be my son.
Thank you for sharing,
Hartley
hartleysboys.blogspot.com

]]> By: Michelle Harwell MFT http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy#comment-5298 Michelle Harwell MFT Sat, 05 Sep 2009 03:50:18 +0000 http://www.growninmyheart.com/?p=6043#comment-5298 This brought me to tears. As an adoptive parent and adoption therapist, I know and see the grief and loss that is present in every adoptive family whether it is acknowledge or not. It can be so painful that it is tempting to turn away, to ignore it. Carrie, thank you for reminding us of the necessity to embrace tragedy as part of our children's (and our own) narrative. Unacknowledged grief leads to more tragedy. If we are willing to face it and feel it, I believe it is possible to find new meaning and redemption. Michelle wwww.michelleharwellmft.com This brought me to tears. As an adoptive parent and adoption therapist, I know and see the grief and loss that is present in every adoptive family whether it is acknowledge or not. It can be so painful that it is tempting to turn away, to ignore it. Carrie, thank you for reminding us of the necessity to embrace tragedy as part of our children’s (and our own) narrative. Unacknowledged grief leads to more tragedy. If we are willing to face it and feel it, I believe it is possible to find new meaning and redemption.

Michelle
wwww.michelleharwellmft.com

]]> By: Denise http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy#comment-5293 Denise Fri, 04 Sep 2009 11:42:35 +0000 http://www.growninmyheart.com/?p=6043#comment-5293 WOW I was in tears by the end of the first paragraph that is the same way I felt with my foster, now adoptive son! EVERY CHILD NEEDS A FAMILY no matter what! thank you for sahring your story WOW I was in tears by the end of the first paragraph that is the same way I felt with my foster, now adoptive son! EVERY CHILD NEEDS A FAMILY no matter what! thank you for sahring your story

]]> By: Michelle http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy#comment-5289 Michelle Fri, 04 Sep 2009 01:09:21 +0000 http://www.growninmyheart.com/?p=6043#comment-5289 Amazing post, and you've so beautifully conveyed the loss that's at the core of adoption. The loss is real. And to be five, and to wonder if you are "pretty enough for a family" just breaks my heart. Amazing post, and you’ve so beautifully conveyed the loss that’s at the core of adoption. The loss is real. And to be five, and to wonder if you are “pretty enough for a family” just breaks my heart.

]]> By: Joanna http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy#comment-5288 Joanna Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:48:15 +0000 http://www.growninmyheart.com/?p=6043#comment-5288 Just the same when I was younger I always thought I'd adopt. I imagined there is a huge need and I could help "save" at least one child. Now that I have my own three kids, I understand how I've taken things lightly. I'm now not sure if I would be a good fit. Seems that if I adopted, I would need to be a much stronger parent, stronger person. Just the same when I was younger I always thought I’d adopt. I imagined there is a huge need and I could help “save” at least one child. Now that I have my own three kids, I understand how I’ve taken things lightly. I’m now not sure if I would be a good fit. Seems that if I adopted, I would need to be a much stronger parent, stronger person.

]]> By: Jen http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy#comment-5287 Jen Thu, 03 Sep 2009 17:36:36 +0000 http://www.growninmyheart.com/?p=6043#comment-5287 Wow! Thank you for sharing these insightful thoughts. Much to think about. Wow! Thank you for sharing these insightful thoughts.

Much to think about.

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