This morning I took my daughter for a breakfast date at Panera with some friends. Just a few minutes after sitting down, a curious man (probably in his 30s) cut straight to the chase and asked if my daughter was adopted. I told him she was and then just turned my attention back to my friends and our conversations. A few moments later, he started asking me about the adoption process and if she was adopted domestically, etc. It was actually the first time I’ve been asked point blank if she was adopted, without her daddy being there, so that was odd. I usually assume that people just think her daddy is African American or something. If he had been, that would have been a really awkward conversation today!!!

Anyway, I wasn’t offended, but just kind of shocked, actually. In the 16 months we’ve had her, I’ve only been asked by other adoptive moms if she was adopted and never right off the bat! I am always happy to share our story, in part. It is nothing that we hide or keep private. Of course, there are parts of her story that are just for her and our family, but as for the basics of how we got her, I’m an open book! I love introducing the idea of adoption to others! It did get me thinking today, though about how we will handle it as she becomes more aware. Right now she doesn’t know if someone asks about her relationship to me. But, in a few years, she will! I don’t want her to have to think about it or for it to be an issue at all. So, in that respect, I was a little concerned. I really pray that people will be sensitive enough as she gets older.

When you adopt transracially, you are automatically an open book, whether you like it or not! I am choosing to embrace it!

Aubrey also writes at Kingcade Kitchen.