From Uncertainty to Confidence: Learning about HIV

Once I knew that it was possible to adopt a child with HIV, my questions came in a downpour. Fortunately for me, my friend Emily is a nurse practitioner who specializes in HIV, so she became the recipient of my long phone calls. What I learned surprised me:

I feared that we might adopt an HIV+ child, love her, bond with her, only to lose her to AIDS. Then I learned that HIV+ children who receive good medical treatment, the kind of treatment we have in the United States, can live long and healthy lives.

I feared that by bringing an HIV+ child into our family, I might put my other children and myself at risk of contracting the disease. However, I learned that HIV is not spread through normal family life. It can only be spread through pregnancy and birth, breastmilk, sexual contact that mixes bodily fluids, and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles). HIV cannot be spread through kissing, sharing cups, sharing food, changing diapers, etc. There would be no risk of transmission to my family, none, period. That isn’t to say that we wouldn’t use common sense precautions, which I will write about in a future post, but to be honest, it all seemed to be quite simple.

Some of the best information I found on pediatric HIV, and specifically transmission of HIV, is at The Elisabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation site.

I feared that we would be financially crushed under the burden of the medical needs of an HIV+ child.  Then I learned that insurance companies are most often required by law to accept an adopted child without regard to preexisting conditions, just as they cover a child who joins your family through birth. I also found that there are many resources available to assist with the medical expenses of HIV+ people. Programs vary around the country and include state assistance as well as private funds, such as foundations of Children’s Hospitals.

As our questions were answered, we journeyed from uncertainty and ignorance, to confidence and passion about adding Dimples to our family; however our challenges were far from over. The agency we were using for the adoption of our two little boys refused to place an HIV+ child, which meant initiating a completely separate adoption process for Dimples. Fortunately, one agency was paving the way for HIV+ adoptions, Adoption Advocates International. We soon found ourselves simultaneously adopting three unrelated children through two different agencies. It was a whirlwind of nine months of paperwork.

Russ and I traveled to Ethiopia in February 2007 to meet our new children. Our lives were forever changed when we walked through the gate of AHOPE, Dimples’ orphanage. Although unaware of it at the time, we met two of our daughters that day. We returned to Ethiopia in August 2008 to bring home our second HIV+ daughter, and that is a story for another day.

Lisa also writes about her life as the mother of 11 at A Bushel and a Peck

Originally posted 2009-06-13 08:00:55. Republished by Blog Post Promoter