Feature writer: Carrie

We’re doing something new here at Grown in My Heart…every month we’ll be featuring one of our writers (and eventually one of our amazing readers). Our first writer is Carrie from Signs of Hope, an incredible wife and mother to about one hundred foster children in China.

I had the joy of recently talking with Carrie about her life and how adoption has shaped where she is today.  I found her to be an amazing person and I was happy to learn more about her!

Voni:  What is your connection with adoption and how did you get where you are now?

Carrie:   Wow…. started when I was a child.  Both of my brothers were adopted – one domestically, one internationally.  Adoption has been a part of my life since I was 3 years old.  After college, I didn’t really know what to do with myself, so I sat back and asked myself: “If I could do anything in the world, what would it be?”  I answered pretty quickly… help facilitate adoptions.  Through a series of God-events, I got an entry-level office assistant job at a small international adoption agency in Dallas, Texas called Hope International.  I worked there for about 2 years, and had the opportunity to expand my skills and get a lot of training… by the end, I was case-managing families and doing supervised home studies!  I got an out-of-the-blue phone call from another adoption agency and was asked to open their Texas office.  It was with that organization that I went to China the first time — my husband and I went to volunteer in an orphanage with one of their short-term trips.  That trip turned our world upside down, and ultimately led us back to China where we’ve lived for 2.5 years volunteering with a foster home for orphans with special needs outside of Beijing.

Voni:  What is the best piece of advice you could offer to members of the triad?

Carrie:  Adoptive Parents – Know that a child’s grief is real.  I spend a lot of time with orphans pre-adoption, and have only begun to comprehend the tragedy they’ve experienced.  They are so broken, even if they seem (and are) strong and resilient.  When they come to you, let them grieve.  Their sadness isn’t a reflection on you or their desire for you to be their parent… it’s coming from a deep loss that no one should ever experience.  Don’t try to cover it up or mask it or pretend it isn’t there.  Teach them how to grieve.  Grieve with them.  Through that, healing and wholeness will come.  I wrote about this once at Grown in My Heart – Redemptive Response to Tragedy: http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy

Voni:  Let’s talk about favorites…ice cream?

Carrie:  Great Divide – a Blue Bell combo of vanilla ice cream and brownie batter swirled with chocolate ice cream and sugar cookie dough.  It’s been 2.5+ years since I had it, but it’s still my favorite!

Voni: Color and why ?

Carrie: This particular shade of blue that happens in the Texas panhandle on a late summer afternoon after a thunderstorm when the sun is starting to shine through.  It is grayish yet bright.  It’s hard to describe, but if I could paint a room that color, I would.  It reminds me of my youth on the plains… and it seems to me to be both the color of nurturing life (rain was always so needed in our area) and strength (anyone who hasn’t experienced a thunderstorm in the plains states doesn’t really know the power one can hold).

Voni: Memory?

Carrie: Wow… I don’t know.  Several come to mind – Getting engaged/married, meeting my brothers for the first time, getting the news that a particular child I loved dearly was going to be able to be adopted…

Voni: TV show?

Carrie: Right now it’s Modern Family.

Voni: Movie?

Carrie: Stranger than Fiction, The Painted Veil

Voni: Song?

Carrie: All I Can Say, David Crowder Band

Voni:  And, because I know you are living in China…tell me something you miss about being home in the US and something that we would all be amazed by – something we may not know about living in China (come on…are all the beds really short?)

Carrie:  I miss being close to family and friends, conveniences like a car, a dryer, a shower stall, or a dish washer.  I miss being able to run down to a western grocery store whenever I need to pick up a few things, or spend a Saturday afternoon browsing in a book store.  I miss being in a culture that I understand and easily navigate in.  It sounds like a lot, but there’s a lot I love about China too.  :)

I have a hard time coming up with anything “amazing.”  Our lives seem pretty normal now, though I know they aren’t by back-home standards.  One thing you might find surprising – as a westerner who has learned to appropriately use a squat toilet, I have started to prefer them over western-style toilets in public places!  And if you stay here long enough, you’ll start drinking warm or hot water and actually enjoy it.  The beds aren’t short, but they are incredibly hard!