My son Kembe has been with us for five months now.   His adopt took three years, and we made frequent visits to Haiti to get to know him. Whenever we visited, we used to laugh …

Well, my fifteen minutes on The View is up. Despite a slightly mortifying gaffe, I was glad to share a bit of our adoption story on a national media outlet.  Leading …

I don’t often get to watch Oprah or The View (though I would love to) because I’m either chasing kids, watching the kiddie shows, or doing kiddie laundry. I will, however, be turning in on …

In a shocking display of government efficiency, we finalized Kembe’s adoption today!  He has been home from Haiti for three months on humanitarian parole, and we were thrilled to have the judge recognize his …

Many adoptive parents create a Lifebook for their kids – it’s basically a scrapbook that tells the story of their life before placement.  We made one for Jafta, our first adopted son, when …

Sandra Bullock’s adoption of an African American child has set the comments section of many a news program ablaze, calling into question the practice of transracial adoption.  I used to really have a hard time …

Most women who have any sort of fertility issues have heard this statement before:
“Just adopt, and then you’ll get pregnant.”

I get this one a lot. Especially since it pretty much happened that …

Every year for Chinese New Year, our foster home celebrates the holiday by engaging in all the most common traditions – decorating the home with paper cuttings and chuen lian (door post hangings), lighting fire crackers, eating lots of oranges, making jiaozi (dumplings) and stuffing ourselves until we all want to nap. (Though the food is different, the actual cultural practice is similar to America’s Thanksgiving!)

In Haiti, they are still alive and talking and we have a wonderful opportunity to learn for watching what happens. We have the ability to seek understanding from these very real, live human parents to understand what caused them to send their children away.
Don’t tell me that “they wanted to give up these children”. Don’t tell me that they made a choice. Death or adoption is not a choice. Educational Opportunities or Adoption is not a choice. Extreme Poverty or Adoption is not a choice. Prison or Adoption is not a choice. Social scorn or Adoption is not a choice.
In any country, any race, any nationality, any color, any culture: ask any sane, non emotional damaged, mother is she wants to give up her child and her answer will be no. Ask her if she would if she had to if it ensured her child better and she will hope that she can.

That’s Adoption, not a Choice.

I read an article this morning that just broke my heart. Okay, it didn’t break my heart. It angered me beyond anger. It pissed me off. It made me want to…well, I don’t know.
I haven’t …