I’m proposing something that may seem radical here: the women who approach adoption determined to make the right choices for their child are the SAME women who would be determined to make the right choices while parenting said child; in most cases if they had just a little support and encouragement.

After you wake up 1,000s of days and hope that today is the day that your children will love you…and it’s not…it all starts to build up. It’s not that I’ve turned against my kids – but I often feel more like a sandbox warrior posed for the next threat than a mom. Then I realize I’m letting their illness win. I need to show them that I can ‘win’ and they can still be safe. I have to be better at choosing the battles I MUST win.

I don’t feel like I’m a pessimist, but as I read back over so much of what I write about our family, I sound really depressed.  Or at least, I sound like I want to …

Do you parent transracially? I do. And one of the most challenging things to do as a white mom is to help my kids see themselves for who they are as well as understand how …

You say “Gotcha” and my mind races back to those days….with no regard to what it might be like, was like, is like. There is no room in the word “gotcha” for me. And while I can understand the feelings of joy my son’s parents had…heck, I comforted myself with the fantasy of what it was like for them..to balance it out, to give the pain some meaning, some purpose besides myself…I like to think that they did think of me..wondered too..if I was sad and feeling alone, empty. Like I thought of them..full of joy..loving my child

I could barely drag myself out of bed this morning but if you know me (or recently met me) you know that I am certainly not a morning person. The BlogHer Conference was a 7th …

I am, quite frankly, sick and tired of the adoption industry pretending to protect me and other birthmothers. Every time I lobby or speak to a legislator about sealed adoptee records, they ALWAYS have the same concern; ” the poor birthmother who doesn’t want to be found” In truth, the average percentage of American Birthmothers who do not desire contact is 0.993471.

The feelings and phrasings of adoptees are unique, subtle, and finely accented. If one wants to become fluent, many years of study are required.

What does it mean to grieve?
Is there a way to do it right…or even wrong?
My husband lost his father three years ago.  He has somewhat lost his mother as she struggles with memory loss and …

Whenever I sit to write, I am already at the middle of it. It’s the beginning that always befuddles me. I never know where to start.
That is because, in this conversation at least, there is …